Freedom is...being an pioneer?
Big things happened in the past two months...BIG things... Like the stuff I wished for during the 'Thinking big in 2018' retreat that I organised (myself, voluntarily :-)) in January. Be careful what you wish for? According to the Alchemist (one of the three books I am currently reading ;-)) it is obvious....once you start heading towards living your Personal Legend (your purpose in your life), the universe will do everything to support you getting there. And the universe is. And more and more I am able to go with the flow: hold the vision, trust the process; in an amazing pace... 'People will think you are crazy, they will not understand you and make fun of you', Gita said about living the life of a pioneer. I know. And for the first time in my life, I don't care...almost don't care ;-).
Pioneering was part of the newly developed purpose within KLM. After 22 years, I felt seen. I don't know if it was about being Dutch: exploring the globe, discovering new things, new places. But I did experience a deep feeling of being allowed to be the way I am. Funny, because the same inspiring process of co-creating this new purpose with a very diverse group of people, now appeared to be the reason I left the company. I still have an immense blue heart, I do. But I suddenly understood, that I am a pioneer by heart and that it was time to find my Personal Legend. And despite all impactful lessons, dear friends, amazing experiences, that I gathered during those 22 years, it was time to move on and explore further.
So one of the things I did, intuitively, since this is my year and I allowed myself to make space to follow my intuition, was going to Dubai. Visiting a former colleague and friend, at the same time having some business talks in the area, which seemed to call me in some way. All the business talks planned didn't happen or went in a totally different direction... Funny...during the whole week, every talk, from the Uber drivers to my friends and acquaintances in the area were about life.. The challenges of life, the promises, family stuff, finding balance...big things, simple stuff, important stuff, no work stuff.
I tried to explain my mom last week about all the awesome things that are happening to me. 'I am going to the green school in Bali! I met this amazing guy that I feel I will work with around the global goals!'. She didn't seem to understand. 'But when is all this voluntary stuff ending? What does your husband think about it?'. Of course it appealed to my loyal-responsible-oldest.daughter-part in me. I felt guilty, misunderstood, doing something wrong. After a stressful weekend of feeling this feeling and taking it along in all my other interactions with people, it dawned to me: this is the price you have to pay if you are walking your path, as a pioneer. To be challenged, misunderstood, feeling alone. And I need to understand that guilt is a useless emotion and that everybody learns his or her own lessons in their own way and moment...
The Alchemist talks a lot about the omens you get along the way. And about the hard moments when it is tempting to return to everything you know, quit exploring. I know I am on the right path. I keep getting signs. From all the animal pairs we encountered in Australia, via all (new) people that cross my path with the exact right message in the exact right moment, to all work-related requests I get. I am on the right path. And I should quit explaining myself and just enjoy the process, damn hard. This is my path, the path of a pioneer...